Dear Level 1 Gneisha

(shamelessly copied...er...INSPIRED BY...Fannon over at Dwarven Battle Medic :3)

Dear Gneisha from level 1 - or Dainz, as you were a druid first:

  • Don't be terrified about dying. It's not like Diablo 2 where you lose your gear, gold and experience.
  • Don't get discouraged. You're a slow leveler - it's okay. You'll get faster.
  • You will try tanking, and you will suck at it. But you suck more at kitty dps.
  • The bear dance really is that awesome.
  • Your first raid will be Karahzan, and you're going to love it. Guruth will be your druid tanky mentor.
  • Don't let those jerks from Deus Vox get you down.
  • Join Alt-oholics Anonymous.
  • You'll like healing. Really. And you're pretty damn good at it, too.
  • But enhancement is totally better.
  • One day you're going to be an officer in a damn great guild, you're going to love it, and all the guildies will fear you. It's excellent.
  • You will totally suck at ranged dps.
  • PvP isn't as bad as you think it is.
  • You'll still suck at it though.
Love, Level 85 Gneisha


Chimereon and You, the Enh Shaman


"Billy Jean is not my loooover, she's just a giiirl that thinks that I am the oooone!"

And how to make your healers love you

Do not accidentally hit Chimaeron before the tank/raid leader pulls. This will lead to an immediate wipe, the wasting of food buffs and elixirs, and MUCH grumbling. Keep your back to him and do not target him if you're having issues not hitting him.

This fight is not a dps race UNTIL the last 20% - phase 2. It is mostly a healing fight. Therefore, you want to keep as many people alive for the actual burn phase. This can be really tough on the healers - they have to keep everyone above 10,000 health (except the tanks, who need to be kept as high as possible). And during Duel, which is where Chimaeron's heads fight each other, they need to try to top EVERYONE off as fast as possible and keep them up. This is a huge drain on their mana, obviously. This is where you come in and help and save the day and stuff.

Enhancement shamans have this lovely talent called Maelstrom Weapon. This talent says:

When you deal damage with a melee weapon, you have a chance (higher than rank 2) to reduce the cast time and mana cost of your next Lightning Bolt, Chain Lightning, Hex, or any healing spell by 20%. Stacks up to 5 times. Lasts 30 sec.

Let's look at one part of this. It reduces the cast time AND mana cost of a damage spell, Hex OR HEALING SPELL by 20%.

Free, instant-cast healing spells. And yes, it does work on Healing Rain.

You can be a clutch component on the fight against Chimaeron by using your full 5-stack of Maelstrom Weapon on Healing Rain, Greater Healing Wave, and Chain Heal. You'll keep yourself alive, you'll keep people near you alive, and you will help alleviate some healer headaches.

The best way I've found to do this is to make sure any melee dps near you are right at the edge of 6 yards away from you. Try to position yourself in the middle. Now, watch your health. If you're below 10k and you have a full stack of maelstrom, blow a chain heal off yourself. This will get you up a stabilizing health pool and will help stabilize dps near you as well. After Chimaeron casts Massacre, drop a Healing Rain or chain heal to boost your health back up.

During Duel, drop Healing Rain on the stacked up raid and start smashing Chain Heal, bouncing it off yourself. You're going to run out mana most likely, but your heals will help bring the entire raid up, and once you spread back out again it's absurdly easy to get a full mana bar again. Before Chimaeron goes into phase 2, try to throw a few more chain heals or Healing Rain (or both) to top yourself and others near you off.

Once Chimaeron hits phase 2, all healing is negated, so go back to your normal dps rotation. Be sure to spam Wind Shear whenever it comes off cooldown if you're a pretty high dps to minimize your threat and maximize your time alive. However, if your dps leaves a bit to be desired, you can actually change your imbue to Rockbiter, and change your shocks to Frost Shock to raise your threat. Sacrificing yourself will allow other, higher dps individuals to live longer, increasing the likelihood of a boss kill. Remember, it's about the kill and the team, NOT about your numbers and ePeen.


How To Be A Good Raider. And a Puppy. Wheee!



Hi! My name is Gneisha, aka Ðainz, aka Shreya, aka other random assorted alts. I am your Blood Queen. Accept it, live it, love it.


Now, down to business.


First things first. What the hell are you? Are you a dps? Healer? Tank? Ranged? Melee? Here's a hint - if you're a hunter, and you answered melee, you need to die in fire. And you won't get an achievement for it, unless it's the "I'm a Fucking Idiot" achievement.

What? I can swear! It's allowed. Fuck you.

So figure out your shit. What exactly are you bringing to the raid? And don't say "lol imma tank im teh meatsheild" or "1337 deepz". Nobody cares how big your numbers or your epeen are. I'm talking about YOU, not your character. Pixels are only as good as the person behind the keyboard. As a dps, can you keep yourself alive? Do you use bandages, or run out of AoE and throw a heal on yourself, or use defensive cooldowns? As a tank, can you communicate to your raid mates about where you're moving, what cooldowns you're popping, when you're pulling? As a healer, can you coordinate heals with the other healers to minimize unnecessary overhealing, spread out Beacons and Earth Shields, and manage your mana efficiently?

Know your class. Reading up on sites like Elitist Jerks (www.elitistjerks.com) to min/max your spec, enchants, gems, glyphs, reforged stats and even your rotation could mean a world of difference. If you're stacking the wrong stat, simply switching to the proper one will see an increase in your dps. Using the proper glyphs, and willingness to switch in situational major glyphs for certain fights, shows a dedication to your own effectiveness. Healers and tanks learning how to manage their new spells and cooldowns can make or break a raid.

Know the fights. For fuck's sake, do what you can to learn the fights before you ever enter the raid. It takes 10-15 minutes tops to read up a bit on boss abilities or strategies, or watch a video. Tankspot is a great place to start (www.tankspot.com) Tankspot boring you? Try Yogscast on YouTube. They're absolutely hysterical and much more fun to watch, in my opinion. (www.youtube.com/BlueXephos) Look under their Cataclysm Raid Boss Guides. Not all of them are truly guides, instead are actually beta videos, but they do show the boss fights and give you a nice commentary on the videos that aren't real guides.

Gem. Enchant. Glyph. Reforge. Food buffs. Flasks. If you are in heroic gear, gem and enchant it. It doesn't have to be ridiculously expensive high end Cataclysm enchants. It can be the cheaper enchants. It can be green gems. But do some dailies, farm up some gold, and get your shit raid ready. Got an herbalist and need glyphs? Farm up some herbs and hand them to Acholate. She'll be happy to make you some glyphs. Ditto for any 525 alchemists in the guild. Level fishing and cooking. It's boring, but when you can make your own food or contribute to guild feasts, you'll feel like a million bucks.

Level your fucking professions. Got a profession? Put in the time and effort and level it up. No matter what it is, most of them give nice bonuses and special profession-only perks. The gathering professions not so much, but the creating ones will have nice ones. Archeology is also a nice choice, no matter what toon you level it on. Certain races have a chance to give you some really nice epics. Night elves have a healing trinket. Dwarves have a caster staff, along with Tol'vir. Trolls have a 2-handed dps sword. The best part? It's all Bind-On-Account.

Fed up with the lack of tanks/healers? If you play a hybrid class, make your offspec a healing or tanking one. Learning how to do things other than your main spec can help you see how it is from the other side. It also really helps the guild in making guild heroics, and eventually multiple 10 mans.

A dead dps does no dps. A tank that stacks all stamina and no avoidance is a dead tank. An out-of-mana healer is a dead group. And always remember, if the tank dies, it's the healer's fault (unless the tank is an idiot). If the healer dies, it's the tank's fault (unless the healer is an idiot). If the dps dies, it's their own damn fault.

Basically, if you're dumb, you're dead. And if you're dead, why should we bring you?

Please post questions and comments. Flames will be used to toast my marshmallows.